Harry’s Story

Harry first started working with me in 2019 as a discipline coaching client. He works in a professional role and is in his early 30s. Harry completed my Application form with a clear indication of his interest in being coached. We then arranged an initial phone call in which he signed up for one month of phone and email-based coaching. Harry had some prior experience with discipline, as you will see from the email excerpt he has kindly given me permission to reproduce here:

I started exploring my need for discipline and corporal punishment three years ago. I have received professional discipline via the strap, tawse, paddle and cane from two disciplinarians.

I believe that I would benefit from your program of discipline and coaching, as I am frequently lazy and rude in my personal life. I would like to work on my goals of advancing my career and being a kinder person in general. I am contacting you because you seem like the kind of person that knows how to administer a proper punishment and link it with goal setting.

We agreed to work together via weekly phone conversations, with end-of-week reports to be emailed to me about his progress. Harry had several specific areas he wished to improve in his life, as you will see in the email he sent following our initial conversation:

Hello Strict Jane,

Thank you for taking the time to speak with me over the phone today about my goals for the next month and beyond. Thank you also for helping me to address my issues with self-control – I understand that you intend to deal with that issue with your prison strap at a later date. Your questions and insights over the phone really helped me to explore my short term goals, but also to bring my vision for the future into focus.

I hope that I was able to articulate my personal feelings with respect to discipline and corporal punishment as well. I really appreciate your approach of providing clear boundaries and consequences for specific issues. I hope that this email helps us both to crystallise these points so there can be no excuses over the next month.

I think it’s a good idea for me to provide a bit more background about my experience with discipline as an adult at this stage. About three years ago I did have occasional visits with a local, non-professional disciplinarian who used to apply the strap and cane for various indiscretions. She has since retired. We also tried long distance discipline, but it was not well-structured like your program is and so it did not last long. Her methods were similar to yours involving self-spanking and scolding. She was also fond of making me write lines, take cold showers and apply Icy Hot to sensitive areas (penance for self-abuse I’m afraid). My preference is to receive traditional corporal punishment, however, if you find the need to get more creative in order to hold me accountable then it is unlikely that there will be any constraints from me.

Further to our conversation, please see below my action steps for each of my three goals.

KINDNESS

• Daily reflections of any instances of rudeness or arrogance and daily reflections of occasions where I could’ve used kindness but did not. To be reflected upon and written up formally every 3-4 days.
• I am going to do random acts of kindness each day. I will highlight any days when I have neglected to do this.

TIME MANAGEMENT

• I have removed the power cords from all the TVs and gaming consoles in the apartment and locked them in the mail box downstairs. I have also uninstalled the Youtube and Twitch apps from my phone. I will report any instances where I have attempted to subvert this system.
• I will reflect upon my time management daily and evaluate if I have used my spare time wisely. Every 3-4 days I will write a more formal summary of my progress in this area.

STRENGTH

• My goal is to deadlift 260lb for 1 rep by 2019-04-14. My first milestone goal is to deadlift 375lb 3 times this week. I will write the weight and number of reps I achieved in my report every 3-4 days.
• I will also attend the gym twice a week.

Please let me know if I have omitted anything or failed to provide an adequate level of detail. I’ll start applying these action steps from tomorrow. I think the cadence for my personal reviews (every 3-4 days) should be convenient for us both. I should be able to send a summary email to you mid-week, followed by another summary email prior to our weekly calls over the weekend. Please let me know if this works for you. I’ll look forward to your response Jane.

Kind regards,

Harry